Monday, September 22, 2008

So Long, Yankee Stadium...


Last night was a big night for me baseball-wise because it was the final game in the 85-year history of Yankee Stadium before it is closed down and a brand-new, state-of-the-art Yankee Stadium opens across the street. It was quite a night as they brought out all the Yankee greats or their survivors and Babe Ruth's daughter threw out the ceremonial first pitch in the place always known as "The House that Ruth Built." It was a bittersweet night as the Yankees beat the Baltimore Orioles and they played a lot of good Yankee Stadium memories and interviewed a lot of great players. I'm really going to miss that place, I spent a lot of time at Yankee Stadium and I've watched a ton of games there...the place is like a cathedral of baseball, a museum, if you you will...it has its own aura. It's almost like you can feel the great history in that place and the fans make it even better: we live and die with each pitch, taunt the life out of the opposing team, and love our players to death. The new stadium, so far, looks gorgeous...and it's going to be amazing and for the most part the same as the current one...but it won't have that aura. It'll still say Yankee Stadium but it won't be the same place where Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle, Jackson, and Munson played...but I do hope the Yanks open it up with a bang and lay a stompin' on this whole league and make a new aura and mystique for the new place. So in honor of the House that Ruth Built, here's some of my favorite Yankee Stadium memories:

1. My first game: I was in elementary school and we went to see the Yankees play the Anaheim Angels...this was when the Angels first changed their name to the Anaheim Angels from the California Angels and had those hideous blue uniforms...oh and they had Mo Vaughn...nuff said. Being in that place was amazing and watching Tino Martinez blast a homer into Right Field was something I'll never forget. I even remember that Kenny Rogers was the starter and his record was like 5-0 at the time. Funny how I can't remember what I did 15 minutes ago, but I can remember that. Shoot, we had pretty good seats too...I don't know how we got ahold of those!

2. Taking my wife to Yankee Stadium: Memorial Day weekend of 2008, my wife and I went to the Stadium to see the Yanks take on the Seattle Mariners. I'd taken her to a Yankee game before in Tampa, but this was the big show up in the Bronx and I was excited. It meant the world to me to take her to a game up there. As you may or may not know, taking the Subway to the Stadium is an experience in and of itself: sure enough when we got to the station in Harlem, there were 2 loud-mouthed people there shouting at each other. Sure enough, they got on the subway with us and turned their attention to this bum sleeping on the seats. It was pretty wild, but it didn't get out of control. My wife was a bit freaked out and I thought the whole scene was hilarious...that's New York for ya. The Yankees destroyed the Mariners that day: Mike Mussina pitched a good game and we even got to see my main man Joba Chamberlain throw a couple innings, which was exciting.

3. Yankees Clinch 2004 Division Title in Awesome Fashion: This game was easily the best one I've attended at the Stadium. It was the last home game of the 2004 season and it was also Cap Night (always a winner). The Yankees were facing off against the Minnesota Twins and needed one win to clinch the AL East division title. As a joke, I wanted to make a sign for one of the worst players on the team and bring it to the game. So I bought some posterboard and made a sign for Tanyon Sturtze (who went on to become one of my favs that night). We got to the game early to check out batting practice and the Twins were on the field. Joe Nathan, the Twins closer (and a BEAST) was out there in right field shagging fly balls and the entire time we were harassing him to death. I unfurled my Sturtze sign and kept shouting at him that Tanyon Sturtze was better than him, which got laughs out of the crowd...and even Joe Nathan. In a truly awesome moment, after like 90 minutes of taunting, Joe Nathan came over and gave us all autographs. It was definitely awesome and I still have his autograph. The game started off well, but the Twins caught up to tie the game. The crowd in our section was way amped up...and a lot of them were drunk out of their minds. Then, lo and behold, Tanyon Sturtze gets put in the game. I start cheering and take out my sign again and everyone freaking LOVED it lol. It was awesome and we cheered "Sturtze! Sturtze! Sturtze!" Through the entire inning...and Sturtze did awesome too. Everyone got a kick out of that sign and it even starting getting downright silly: at one point this lady was walking up the steps wearing this crazy leather jacket that had these metal plates on them and everyone started cheering "Robo Cop! Robo Cop!" Oh man, I laugh hard when I think about that night. Anyhow, fast forward: Twins take the lead and John Olerud ties it up with a blast into right-center field. At the bottom of the ninth, 2 outs, one man on base, Bernie Williams comes up to bat. At that point the Stadium was ROCKING, everyone wanted to see a big hit and wanted to see the Yankees win the division on the last home game, not on the road. Well Bernie CRUSHED a pitch into centerfield for a home run...Ball Game over, Yankees win the division! Man that place went BERZERK! The team was celebrating on the field and everyone in the stands was celebrating harder...shoot I was high-fiving everyone in sight, even hugging complete strangers. It was hilarious how it became this crazy family-like atmosphere. In the excitment of it all, I somehow ended up like 2 sections over from my original seat. Man, it was awesome. At the end of the night we stuck around to cheer the players on as they walked out to the team bus. I saw Tanyon Sturtze come out and again out came the sign...and everyone thought it was hilarious. On the bus, John Flaherty noticed my sign and tapped Sturtze on the shoulder and told him about it...Tanyon looked out and smiled and waved...it was pretty cool. I'm willing to bet at that point, I was his only "official" fan in that whole place...it was a cool ending to an amazing night. (Update on the Sturtze sign: I kept it and the next season I took it to a game and Sturtze came up and autographed it for me. That was awesome. Where's that sign now? I have no clue, I think my mom threw it out...bummer).

4. Old Timers Day 2004: This was my one and only Old Timers Day game I've been to...it's a hot ticket and usually difficult to get. Somehow I got two tickets, so I went with mom to the game. I think it might have been the first time we took the subway there too, I don't know. Anyhow, the thing that makes Old Timers Day the bomb is that they bring out all the great Yankees of the past and then they face off in a friendly exhibition before the start of the actual game. To see and hear them announce guys like Reggie Jackson, Yogi Berra, Whitey Ford, Goose Gossage, and Phil Rizzuto gives you goosebumps, no doubt about it. You get pretty awe-struck and star-struck as well just seeing them there. We played the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and Lou Piniella was the manager at the time, so they brought him out (to a huge ovation) to throw out the opening pitch with Thurman Munson's widow. GREAT day.

5. Yankees/Mariners 1998: You know those Entertainment Books you buy for like $20 or whatever? One of my mom's coworkers had a book and gave us this buy 2, get 2 free coupon for Yankees tickets (yeah I'm sure they don't do THAT anymore). So we drove out to the stadium to buy some tickets for a future game and decided on the Mariners game...we got some awesome Right Field box seats for really cheap. I was excited about this game because Ken Griffey Jr was like my FAVORITE baseball player...he's not what he used to be, but I still like him. So Griffey was pretty close out there in centerfield and I watched him through the whole game...he even hit a home run and made a great catch in the outfield...he did all the cool Ken Griffey Jr stuff he always did and it was exciting. Don't worry, though, this is not a drool-over-Griffey post...I mean, he was on the opposing team, after all. The starter for the Yankees that day was David Cone, who I always liked a ton. He was on fire that day...if I recall he struck out 12 Mariners. The lineup that day was weird too: Joe Girardi started at catcher, Jorge Posada was the DH, and Tim Raines was in LF. Needless to say, the Yanks beat the Mariners, but I thoroughly enjoyed that game...got to see Griffey do his thing, Cone pitched great, and the Yankees all hit very well.

6. Yankees vs. Cubs: In 2005 I had season tickets for the Yankees, which was AWESOME. One of the games was the Yankees vs. the Chicago Cubs...it was a big deal because they just don't play against each other due to different leagues, and with interleague, fans finally got to see them play. It was Armed Services Day, so there were a lot of people in uniform at the game, which was cool. During the National Anthem they had 3 Navy jets fly over the stadium...it was really awesome...and LOUD. The starter for the Cubs was Carlos Zambrano, which worried me because he's really good. I can't remember at all who the Yankees' starter was...I think it was Chien-Ming Wang. Anyway, the Yankees surprisingly beat up badly on Zambrano and Wang pitched great. The highlight of it all came from Mr. Derek Jeter. He came up with the bases loaded and everyone knew the deal: Derek had gone the longest amount of at-bats in the majors without a grand slam (135 at bats, I think). Well Derek delivered...he destroyed a pitch and it was a no-doubter. That place went NUTS...you'd think we just won the World Series. We gave Jeter like a 5 minute ovation, it was great. For added hilarity: this drunk-outta-his-mind Cubs fan on the train tried to start a fight with like 8 Yankees fans and almost got the snot kicked outta him...what a moron!

So there you have it...I can go on all day about Yankee Stadium, so I'll cut it off at those memories. I'll miss you, Yankee Stadium: I had a blast everytime I went there and I enjoyed every moment, win or lose.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

5 Things I Learned from Old-School WWF


When I was younger, I was hardcore about WWF pro wrestling. This was back when it was still the WWF (not WWE) and was full of bizarre, goofy characters, jobbers, and mostly clean entertainment. Unfortunately now pro wrestling has moved to a mockery of its past self where it's ok to swill beer in front of kids, beat up women, cuss frequently, and show blatant disregard for anything moral or ethical...but I digress. I used to love the wrestlers like Hulk Hogan (my all-time fav!), Kamala, the Ultimate Warrior, Macho Man Randy Savage, Koko B Ware, and others. Like many things, you can always find life lessons in good ol WWF rasslin':

1. No Matter Your Life Skills, You Always Fit In

This is probably what I loved the most about WWF: they made a wrestler out of anything and anyone. Remember Duke "The Dumpster" Droese? The dude was a garbage man...A GARBAGE MAN! They had The Repo Man...who was, well, a repo man. And probably the weirdest: Akeem the African Dream. Akeem was whiter than a cloud and he swore he was from "Deep, Dark Africa"...wherever that is. He was hilarious. I'm willing to bet if you had a Master's Degree in Paleo-botany and loved building Lego skyscrapers, you could've rolled up into the WWF headquarters in like 1988 and they would've given you a job.

2. Your First Few Days on the Job are a Cakewalk

Whenever a new wrestler debuted, they always put him up against what's called a Jobber. A Jobber is a no-name dude, who pretty much gets paid to have the snot beat outta him. 99.9999999% of the time the Superstar would win...occasionally they'd have a Jobber step up and beat the new guy and it'd be hilarious...and embarrassing for the new dude. By far, the best Jobber in the history of wrestling was the Brooklyn Brawler. He always wore these ratty, tore up Yankees shirts to the ring, looked like he never shaved, and I'm almost sure he smelled like a mixture of B.O. and hot garbage. Something about him was awesome, though...and heck, he was a Yankee fan so he was ok in my book....but man he was a lousy wrestler! So if you're the new guy in the WWF, you'll get matched up against the Brooklyn Brawler, stomp him into the ground a few times, then eventually move into stardom. Oh how I wish the normal working world was like that...

3. The Ultimate Warrior is INSANE

Just see for yourself:


4. You Settle Your Differences in the STEEL CAGE!!!

Back in the day when wrestlers had serious beef with each other they settled it in a Steel Cage Match. These matches were brutal and you could only win by climbing over the top of the cage and to the floor outside. In wrestling nowadays they have like 2 steel cage matches a week or something like that...if you scuffed a dude's Pumas, then to the steel cage with ya! But in old-school WWF, the Steel Cage Matches were super-special and only reserved for pay-per-view events. It'd be kinda cool if you can settle major disagreements in a steel cage match...like in Civil Court or something: if you're suing this one guy for keying up your car, you can settle the score in a steel cage. Two suplexes, a body slam, maybe an elbow drop off the top rope and you're well on your way to climbing out!

5. Forget Job Promotions: Winning the Royal Rumble is Where It's At!

The Royal Rumble was always one of my favorite pay-per-view events...it was basically a 30-man battle which started with 2 men and a wrestler would join the fray every minute or so...their order was chosen at random. The only way to eliminate another guy was to toss him over the top rope and both feet hit the ground. How dope is that? I loved the Royal Rumble because it was long and crazy and there was always one or two enormously FAT wrestlers who would get in there and it would take like 15 guys to throw them over the top rope...it was always hilarious, and I promise you to this day they still do the same thing. At least, I hope they still do the same thing. If you won the Royal Rumble usually you'd get a shot at the WWF Championship. The working would would be awesome if you could have an over-the-top battle royal to get a job promotion...my job would be mighty interesting!

Hardy Har Har


Sometimes all you need is a cursory glance at the news to see that the world we live in is pretty much insane. Honestly, I think this world can use some more laughter...laughter never killed anyone. Sometimes you just have to take a minute and - when appropriate - let yourself be a little silly. I mean look at this picture...Pooh Biscuits...HILARIOUS! There's another book called "Cooking with Pooh" that I also think is hysterical. I know, you're probably thinking to yourself, "He's such a 4th grader." That's fine if you think that, it doesn't offend me; anyone who knows me understands that I know when to turn off the silliness and be serious...there's always a time and place for joking around.

A couple weeks ago my unit at work was moved to Police Headquarters in downtown Charlotte...our desks are surrounded by all the big brass and it's kinda like working in a library or a monastery. It's not as fun anymore, it's just uptight. Still, I have to attempt to keep myself sane by being funny every once in awhile. I'm notorious for making weird pictures and putting them on my desk or other people's desks. I've got one that has a Jolly Roger that says, "The beatings will continue until morale improves," I've got another of a Hoops from Hoops & Yoyo sleeping on his desk and it says "SHHHHH! I'm thinking!" And, for pete's sake, I've got a Spam calendar hanging at my desk...mmmm spam. So far no one's said anything about the pictures, thank God...they're not offensive or anything and they help keep me sane.

So there you have it...take some time to really enjoy the things that just crack you up, whether it be movies, pictures, videos. Let loose and have fun, you'll always feel better after a good laugh. In fact, the following video is one that will ALWAYS make me laugh:

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Domo Kun!!!



For some crazy reason I love the Japanese cartoon character named Domo Kun. I mean look at him...he's like a open-mouthed chocolate bar with arms and legs...he's DOPE! I was excited a couple weeks ago to find out that Target is now featuring my homie in a lot of their fall/Halloween advertisements. They've got Domo dressed as a mummy, a pirate, a witch, and even a Franken-Domo! They've also got a lot of Domo Kun merchandise like candy bags, chocolate Domo Kun's, notebooks, folders, calendars, and my favorite: a Domo Kun pinata! Major props go out to Target for bringing the joy of Domo Kun to the USA!

I'm thinking I need to print a good picture of Domo Kun to put in my cubicle at work, maybe next to my pirate sign that says, "The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves"...maybe I can find a picture of the Pirate Domo Kun! ARRRRR!