5 Things I Learned from "Pee Wee's Big Adventure"

Ok, ok I admit it...I absolutely love this movie. Say what you will about Pee Wee Herman: he's weird, sick, perverted, etc. And you're probably right about all of them at this point, but back when I was a kid, this movie was DA BOMB and so was his TV show "Pee Wee's Playhouse." Basically this movie is about an overgrown kid who loses his pimped-out bike and all the hijinks that ensue as he tries to find get it back. Sounds weird? Believe me, it is...but it's hilarious. So this morning on my drive to work I was thinking about 5 things I've learned from this goofy movie...and here they are:

1. White-Collar Crime Will Never Die

Early in the movie you get to meet Pee Wee's nemesis, Francis, another man-child who is super-rich but really only wants Pee Wee's bike. I mean, you'd figure someone with Francis' dough would be able to get his own version of the bike and even - dare I say it - make it better than Pee Wee's...but of course not, he just steals Pee Wee's and then pays someone to cover it up. Was Francis a metaphor for Enron, et al.? Whoooo knooooows!

2. Don't Hitchhike...ever

This applies to two instances in the movie, the first is when Pee Wee is picked up by this escaped convict named Mickey...what was he in the clink for? Cutting the tag off a mattress (I told you this was a goofy movie). At one point they cross-dress their day past a police roadblock, then Pee Wee almost kills them by nodding off and driving the car off a cliff. Later in the movie, Pee Wee is picked up by this spooky, grizzled old trucker lady named Large Marge who can contort her face into a straight-up crazy wonder of claymation. And, of course, Pee Wee later finds out she was a ghost. Large Marge is awesome...for those of you who love this movie, how many times were you tempted to walk into a diner and say, "Large Marge Sent Me" ?

3. There is no Basement at the Alamo

Distraught over his bike being stolen, Pee Wee consults this wack psychic, who not only steals his wallet, but tells him that his bike is at the Alamo...in the basement. So Pee Wee makes his way to the Alamo, goes though the tour, and asks the uber-country tour guide when they get to see the basement. The lady tells him there is no basement in the Alamo and everyone laugh at him. So there you have it: when you're planning your big family vacation to San Antonio, don't expect to see a basement at the Alamo, or you'll be truly disappointed!

4. Godzilla + Santa Claus + The Beach + Twisted Sister = AWESOME

So Pee Wee finally finds his bike on a movie set and takes it back, being chased by security...he drives through a bunch of random movie sets, including Godzilla, a Santa Claus movie, some beach scene, and a Twisted Sister music video. It's so randomly bizarre and it makes me laugh every time. It's like one giant pop culture bonanza wrapped into one.

5. Don't be Afraid to be Childish

I'm not saying it's cool or smart to be immature all the time, but seriously: we spend so much of our lives at work and not much of our lives doing much else (not including sleeping), so you really have to enjoy it. Pee Wee Herman is an overgrown 8 year old pretty much, and while his life in the movie is idealistically bizarre and funny, it makes me think that not EVERYTHING has to be super-serious all the time. Don't be afraid to be silly, don't be afraid to laugh. As I said already, there's a time and place for it: if your boss is giving you your annual review and says you're unorganized, don't respond with a Pee Wee-esque "I know you are, but what am I?"

Book Review: "The Man in White" - Johnny Cash

You're probably saying to yourself "That Johnny Cash?" Yes, that Johnny Cash...the Man in Black writing "The Man in White." The introduction to the book says a lot, really: Johnny Cash, after cleaning himself up from a drug and alcohol addiction began to really study and get into the scriptures with his wife. One of the most fascinating characters to him was the Apostle Paul, so Johnny decided to write a novel about the life of Paul, which is an interesting concept. I have to admit, when I first saw this book at a Book Warehouse in Gatlinburg, TN I honestly thought it would be full of dialogue like, "Sure as shootin' I'm a-gonna preach the word!" But you'll come to read that Mr. Cash is actually a great fiction writer (as well as an awesome song-writer).

The story follows Paul (then Saul) first as a Pharisee, who wants nothing but to persecute the Christians and live a life fully devoted to the scriptures. We know how the story goes, so I won't re-tell it here...and while the book obviously exercises some creative input here and there, it still gives an awesome picture of what life was like for Paul before and after his conversion and what life was like during those times. It's an uplifting story that's familiar to a lot of us and in this book we get to experience it in a different way. Long story short, this is a great book that you shouldn't miss, I promise you'll enjoy it, plus it's a quick and interesting read, just under 200 pages. As an added bonus, if you're anything like me, you'll get "Ring of Fire" stuck in your head the whole time you're reading...which isn't a bad thing at all.

Let's Get in the Playoffs, Fellas!

What an insane season this has been for the New York Yankees...and their fans. It's obvious at this point that our GM's decision to put a lot of pressure on young, inexperienced pitching has bitten us in the behind. That's not totally Brian Cashman's fault, though. Phil Hughes suffered a lengthy injury (again), Ian Kennedy has stunk, "Man-Beast, Jr." Joba Chamberlain showed great promise as a starter but ended up getting hurt as well. It also doesn't help that Chien-Ming Wang has missed significant time with a broken foot...I guess you can't always account for injuries. That being said, we've done an admirable job trying to stay afloat in the AL East.

This weekend's sweep of the Baltimore Orioles leads the Yankees into the stretch run: we're 5 games behind the Boston Red Sox for the Wild Card lead with 32 games left to play. This is gonna be a nail-biter, folks...and this week is where the big series lies. The next 3 games are against those very same Red Sox...if the Yankees sweep Boston and stay hot to end the season, there's a good chance we'll squeeze our way into the Playoffs. That means, however, that pitchers like Carl Pavano, Darrell Rasner, and Sidney Ponson need to step up BIG the rest of the season. Scary. But it should be interesting, to say the least...I just hope the Yanks put up a fight. LET'S GO YANKEES!